I wasn’t going to post, but something happened this weekend that’s been eating at my brain all day. In the interest of being able to concentrate again, I must ask you guys a question. Something happened at work that left me wondering if I was justified in saying what I did, or if I was a raging bitch for no other reason than I hate how life is going right now. You may recall June from previous posts here and here. Yeah, she pretty much thinks I’m the cuntiest bitch ever now, and I think she acted like an entitled prick. I guess that makes us about even.
First you need to know how tipshare works at BC. Using some cockamamie math, Schmarden determines how much tip out you are required to give the busser and bartender each shift. Something about your total sales factoring in the time those employees were clocked in and stuff like that. In any case, we all had to sign a form stating that mandatory tipout is, well, mandatory, and required by all tipped employees. I don’t recall if it specified the jobs to which we would be tipping out, but the computer only has calculations for busser and bartender.
At some point tonight one of the older, more bossy servers flipped my ponytail – which I fucking hate by the way – and said something about how I needed to tip out June since she’s been running my food all night. Now, I know she meant “my” food as in “everybody’s” food, but it pissed me off because June had not run one damn tray of my food all night because I had run every goddamn tray of my food that night. I decided that, no, I would not be tipping June out because she hadn’t actually done anything for me. Why the hell should I give her money when I was doing the shit I needed to do? That’s like tipping out the busser who bussed everyone’s tables but mine.
About an hour later, I had been thinking about it and decided that I would give June a couple of bucks even though I had run all of my food. Here’s why: even though she didn’t run my food, she did run other people’s food. This meant things were coming out of the kitchen faster and that my food probably made it to the window faster than they would have if the window had been full of dying food. Her running food also meant that other people weren’t asking me for favors, leaving me free to tend to my tables. Not the best reasons, but hey. I knew she was going to guilt me into it anyway (or bitch to a manager) so I might as well decide to give it to her before I was manhandled into it, right?
So she’s getting ready to leave after the rush dies down, and I’m at the computer paying out a check. She bounces up to me and stands there. I glance at the paper she has and see that it has names written down.
“So,” she barks, “you going to give me a buck or two for running your food?” She stood there with her eyebrows raised and pen poised on the paper. I still don’t know if it was a list of people who had paid or people who hadn’t.
Here’s where I should have just kept my mouth shut. But I didn’t. I pulled out a couple of dollar bills and handed them to her as I said with a smile, “Well, I don’t think you actually ran any of my food, but I appreciate that you helped everyone out by being a food runner all night. I know it probably helped me indirectly. Thanks.”
She stared at me, the dollar bills wilting in her hand. ”Excuse me?” she snarled, thrusting her head forward. ”What do you mean, I didn’t run your food?”
“I ran all of my own food. Except for 37, but I saw [other server] bring that out. Like I said, I’m sure it helped me indirectly so I don’t mind tipping you out anyway.” Actually, I did mind, but I saw my refusal to tip her going a lot like this conversation was. Seems like I was fucked anyway.
“Uh, well, even if I didn’t run your food tonight, I’m sure I’ve run it some other day.”
Here’s where I should have kept my mouth shut and actually did so. “Uh, okay.”
What I was thinking was, I’m not tipping you out for other days. Are you kidding me? When you run my food on other days – which is quite rare, since we rarely work together anyway – you’re a server, not a food runner. We all run each other’s food as favors, not for tips. When you’re a food runner, it’s different since that’s all you’re doing and it’s your job, not a favor. There is a big difference. Again, I’m tipping you based on your service to me TONIGHT, not a week ago and not next month. That would be like your ex-girlfriend becoming a prostitute and charging you for the sex you had before you broke up. No, you do not get tipped based on you maybe running one tray for me last month when you were serving.
Am I being a bitch about this? I think it’s obvious that I should have just not said anything in the first place. I had decided to tip her out anyway so I didn’t really need to explain the technicalities of why I had chosen to tip her out. I think I said something because it struck a nerve that she said she ran my food, and she sure as hell didn’t. Had she said, “Hey, would you be willing to tip me out a buck or two since I was a food runner all night?” this conversation would never have happened. The way she actually asked indicated that she believed I owed her because she personally ran MY food. I know it’s nit-picky and I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place, especially knowing her temper, but I couldn’t help myself.
What I want to know, though, is:
1)…am I a bitch for thinking I didn’t really owe her anything? After all, we have never had a designated food runner on any shift I’ve ever worked since I was hired almost a year ago. We don’t normally tip anyone out but bussers and bartenders. If she had actually ran my food, I would have tipped her out without a second thought. But it wasn’t mandatory and she hadn’t actually run any of my food.
2)…am I a bitch for thinking that she’s out of place for saying I owed her because she had almost certainly run my food at some time in the past, or might in the future? After all, we never have designated food runners and it is understood that whoever has free hands when food comes up is the person who gets to run it. We do it as favors and to ensure the guests don’t get dead food, not because we expect compensation.
3)…am I a bitch for taking glee in the fact that my cheap grandparents (not the ones I’ve posted about before) ate in her section the week prior to this, and that I know they didn’t tip her well because they never tip well, ever? At first I felt bad when she told me she had waited on them, but after this exchange all I can think was that it was preemptive karma. Okay, I actually don’t want you to tell me if this is bitchy. I know it is. I still giggle when I think of the probably 10% tip they left, but only in light of June’s bitchiness over the tip out stuff.
I seriously want to know about 1 and 2 though, because if you guys think I was a bitch then I may apologize to her. Thing is, I really honestly think I’m right here. I think she’s the one being a bitch about this. She didn’t refuse my money, and I didn’t talk to her rudely during our conversation, but I’m pretty sure she fucking hates my guts now. I’m totally fine with that as long as I was justified in my actions.
If this stuff keeps happening I may have to make a “Batshit Crazies” category just for June.
I don’t think you are being a bitch at all. If she didn’t run any of your food, you owe her nothing. And her wanting to be tipped out from another day? Really? NO! Get over it.
At my job, they came up with some retarded way of figuring out what to tip bussers. 18% of my total sales, then down to 18% of that. Sometimes I feel that this is not enough and if we have a good busser on shift, I tip more than the required amount. But if a busser barely does anything for me, they get less. If they do nothing for me, they get nothing, just that simple. We have to tip a busser, bartender and the kitchen. I do not agree with tipping out the cooks. They make a way higher hourly rate than I do and even during dead season when I am making hardly anything, I still have to tip them out but they are still making the same hourly rate.
So in closing, I think you are right on the money and I agree with you 100%. Pisses me off when certain people feel that sense of entitlement.
Still loving your posts and glad I subscribed.
In my state it is illegal to require tipped employees to tip out to any employee that makes minimum wage or more. You can only tip out to people who make less than minimum wage like bussers (about $5/hr) or bartenders ($3.13/hour) and it’s absolutely not okay to tip out to cooks, pantry, or dishwasher employees. The tip out to bussers at your job is about on par with what I’ve tipped out to bussers everywhere I’ve ever worked. Then again, we normally have 15 servers or more on a busy night so they don’t make off too badly. I would imagine bussers make about about $65 per 5-hour shift, including their wage.
Thanks for your input and I’m glad you continue to enjoy my posts. Keep commenting!
No you are not a bitch you are reasonable. Anyone would be pissed off about having to pay for a service they did not receive. If anyone is a bitch it is this June person, to march up to someone and sarcastically demand money from them is just pure cheek, not only that it can easily be perceived as a veiled verbal attack when faced with that any reasonable person will get annoyed and go on the defensive. She could have easily said “Hey F-bomb, the boss said I was to get a cut of the tips for running the food tonight, would you mind chipping in a dollar or two please?” (obviously in a polite and friendly tone of voice)
In future, until she learns to ask politely instead of demanding, just stiff her and put that money towards more important stuff
I was worried that she’d bitch to a manager and I care a lot more about what they think than what she thinks. The manager on duty that night probably wouldn’t have heard me out (especially since I suspect she’d embellish things a bit) because he was stressed, tired, and not in the mood for shit. Next time, though, if the situation was similar, I would stiff her.
Not a jerk. Its great that you even tried to see the bigger picture and say that she probably helped out indirectly. And its good that you said something and didn’t let her be all smug. Her attitude when she approached you was really rude and entitled. People like that just piss me off. If she had come up to me and demanded money from me I would have just looked at her and said “No.” Then turned and walked away.
…OK maybe not since I’m such a push over. But I wish I had the guts to!
I don’t think people should get away with stuff like that.
I’m usually a pushover (despite my hard-ass thoughts and posts) and I’m surprised I even told her what I did. I regretted it the minute I saw her clench her jaw because I really don’t like fighting with people. I’d rather everyone get along. At that point, I figured, “Fuck it, I said it. She’s pissed. Doesn’t matter what I say now so I’ll just not say anything else.”
She absolutely shouldn’t be allowed to prance around like a bitch. I think the proper way to do it would have been for a manager to come around and tell everyone to please tip her out since she ran food all night. Given that we never have food runners, it would have left no question of her tip out amounts and it would have allowed me the opportunity to explain that I didn’t feel that I owed her.
1) No
2) No
You should have actually poked her with a dirty fork…
Or thrown a biscuit at her head.
Make sure it’s a dog biscuit, after all she is a bitch!
I’m going to side with Nick ^ on this. No, you weren’t a bitch and yes your should have poked her with a dirty fork.
I would have lost my mind if she approached me with a list that I OWED her money. I would have tipped out for the same reasons you listed because indirect help is still help, but don’t be a bitch about it or I’ll embarrass both of us.
I considered embarrassing us both, but I have a disposition towards less conflict.
Yellowcat, I have to admit, having read your blog for a while, I would LOVE to have seen her doing this to you.
Seconded.
A bitch?
Not at all.
I actually admire your restraint.
I might have seared her neck with a sheetpan fresh from the oven…but I tend to overkill a bit.
It was more of a desire to not create more conflict.
No, I don’t think you were a bitch. If I were June I wouldn’t have even noticed what you said, y’know? I think you were nice to tip her and she should have just said, “ok thanks” and walked away. It sounds like she just wanted to bitch at you.
She doesn’t like me in general so I suppose that could be why she picked a fight over it.
You are not a bitch at all, she is. If she was worth anything as a restaurant employee she knows she did not run your food, knows whose food she did run and except what ever you generioulsy gave her for that evening, and expect more from the others whose food she did run. You should of been informed that you would have a food runner for the evening and what the expected tip out would be.
Like I said, food runner is not a job that we typically have. I still don’t know why we had one that night. You’re right, I think we should have been told in advance, but the biggest problem was her attitude. Glad to see a new commenter – hope to see you again!
Back in my days of working for Shmarden (let’s call my restaurant “big-horned bovine”) we usually had a food runner on the weekends. With us though, a food runner was actually busting their ass more than most of the servers, and there was no way that they didn’t run every server’s food several times throughout the night. Even with that though, we were always respectful about asking for our tip-out. Nine times out of ten, we’d have whichever manager that was running expo make the announcement that the runner was cut, and then we would go about getting our cash. It usually went along the lines of, “Hey, I’m cut, mind tipping me out please?” There is no way any of us would ever ask for a tip out in that manner, so I agree with the previous posters, you aren’t a bitch and she’s an entitled little bitch. I vote you run jack shit for her in the future, and when she asks about it just tell her you don’t want her to have to worry about tipping you out if you’re ever food runner for the night.
Believe me, I never run her stuff because of the other two incidents. And if she food runs again, she only gets money if she runs my food. And believe me, I’ll go out of my way to make sure I run my own trays.
1. No
2. Hell No
3. Your grandparents make me laugh. And. . . No.
Actually, it sounds like you were rather charming.
I tried.
She could have been nicer, but your actions seemed correct. Keeping the mouth shut is something worth learning, I’ll have to practice that more myself.
Me too.
1. I feel like you didn’t owe her anything, but in this situation, unless they actively fucked me up or ever, I’d cheerfully tip out a couple of bucks anyway. BUT…
2. I think she’s out of line for being concerned about other shifts than that night. Where I really hate her is that she asked you for a tip-out before you’d done a check-out. I’d smile and give her less than I was going to in that situation, or maybe the same ammount, but instead all jingle instead of paper.
I may start keeping a couple of bucks in pennies hidden in the server room and if she asks for tip-out like that again…well, you know what’ll happen.
Not a bitch at all. She was right to ask for money from the people who did get help from her, but not from someone who didn’t. She sounds like an idiot. As for pulling her up on it. I totally understand why you did it. I don’t know why she felt the need to be a douche about it…
She is definitely an idiot. She was snotty with me when I worked with her on Friday. Oh well.
No. You handled it well…you were pissed and you made it known why you were upset with the situation. The only way to improve it is to make it understood. I don’t think there should be tip out- we are paid to do our damn job and if management would pay us a little higher instead of redistributing the (lack of) server wealth this wouldn’t be an issue to begin with. If management/corporate decided that only the busser and/or bartender were to be tipped out then that’s the law. No ways around it. You could have chosen to tip her out based on the goodness of your heart, but you are not in any way obligated to make someone like you. I’m glad you stood up for yourself and if she’s generally a bitch anyway, there is no sense in being nice when it’s not called for. What an ungrateful twit.
Well, if the management had alerted us to the presence of a food runner and/or been the ones to request that we throw in a couple of bucks as a “thank you” it wouldn’t have been an issue at all. The way it was handled was the issue and if it happens again, you bet your ass I’ll ask the MOD to have a word in private about it before I even consider throwing in any money. I’m glad I stood up for myself too, since normally I’m a little too meek and anti-confrontational to say anything. Especially to a known tantrum-thrower who holds grudges. I had just had enough of her shit, I think. Huzzah, I’m finding my confidence!
I’ve worked with people like this. Girls, to be exact. I doubt this incident, like the others, had anything to do with who was actually in the right, it has to do with the fact that she dislikes you and wants to act like a cunt toward you. I am totally serious. And unfortunately, in my experience, being bitchy back is the only way to get her to act decently to you, not being courteous or friendly. And in no way were you being a bitch or even out of line in any way at all. God I hate that you have to work with this person, when I had to it was just the worst. Definitely motivated me to go back to school though.
Anyway sorry if I sound know-it-all-y, I’ve been at the library for seven hours, I just thought maybe my experience could help you.
I have no doubt that you’re right. I’ll be moving in the summer anyway so I don’t really see a reason to put her in her place. I work with her maybe once every two weeks, so I think I’ll survive. If she really gets under my skin I might be forced to take action, of course. I appreciate your comments and hope to see more of them!
While you shouldn’t have made an issue out of it (you’ve already admitted this much), tipshare is something management should be involved in. In my last job they decided to start making the runners and bussers and bartenders collect the money themselves, which is stupid and leads to shit like this. At my current job we rarely have runners, but when we do, it’s a minimum of a dollar an hour from each server for as long as the runner is there. I think that’s fair.
I think that’s fair too, considering they get paid more per hour than the servers and aren’t there all shift.
At schmardens Italian place we don’t get food runners anymore….something about new company policy…when we did though they were paid minimum wage, so while tipping them was nice it wasn’t something that could be enforced….anymore if we have foodrunners at the IP they are in training and will be on the floor in the next day or two.
Yeah, sometimes we have trainees that run food, but they’re paid training wage for it and we NEVER tip them out. And like I said, we’ve never had food runners before that night, so I don’t know what everyone was smoking but it was a “what the fuck” night. I wouldn’t mind having a food runner on super busy nights, but it should be handled by management and made known at the beginning of the shift, not smack in the middle.
Bitchy, no. Sounds like you were perfectly polite. She also is ridiculous for assuming to be tipped for something she might have done on previous shifts (when she would have been tipped, of course, had it been a food runner situation).
I happen to believe, however, that a designated food runner should always be tipped. You pointed out perfect reasons why her presence benefited you. I will add that there is a line of thought regarding tipping out bartenders that is also applicable. Sometimes a server will get few or even zero drinks from the bartender (selling mostly non-alcoholic drinks, like at lunch, or bottled wine). The bartender still gets tipped because he/she *is there* if you need the service. Even though you didn’t on this particular day. Think of it as a retainer.
I enjoy your blog.
Thanks for the awesome comment. I’d love to keep seeing you around!
Nope. You were right on. I don’t think I would’ve tipped her out at all.
That’s why I’m glad tip-outs are done by management at my job, so employees don’t have to fight amongst themselves. When I was a hostess (at my place we don’t have bussers – hosts do it all) there were a few times when they’d schedule the bar improperly, (cocktailers tip me out, bartenders don’t) and I’d have to personally collect tip-out from the bartender before I left. But I dreaded having an argument like this so I’d always make sure a manager went to ask them for the money, not me.
And the bartenders even told me that if it had been one of the lazier hosts, they wouldn’t have tipped out at all BUT because I’m helpful and run their food / clean their tables / take drink orders for them when they’re weeded, etc… they’d be more than happy to tip me out.
However, as a server, knowing we have to tip out the hosts, if they’re NOT making an attempt to run our food, wipe down my tables, sweep or whatever else, we get very resentful and will speak to management about it if need be.
As long as tipped out employees aren’t allowed to shirk their work and still get compensated, I’m cool with tip-outs. But you’re right, management should handle it to avoid bad situations.
Our GM chooses the walkers this way: The person with the highest alcohol sales per person the night before gets to be the walker. So, it’s like a reward, and at the same time, we rarely get a slug walker. And we all know we have to tip at least 3 bucks. But there are still people who don’t tip, even though the walker walked ALL their food.
But, the point is, it’s not WHAT you ask, it’s HOW you ask. As a catastrophically untactful person, this I know oh, so well. So, let’s just hope that June just missed the “socialization” train as a child.
We used to have to tip our bar 5% of total bar sales. So, even if they didn’t do jack diddly for you, they got a piece of the pie for answering the phone, giving change, etc. I’m a single mom, and only work days, so I can be home making sure my darling son doesn’t burn down the house or join a gang or sell crack to fifth graders. (That’s what he always answers when I call him on the Bat Mom Homing Device and ask him what he’s doing, BTW. Where DID he get that strange sense of humor? You be the judge…) Anyway, one day the Bitchy Princess decided she would complain about the amount I tipped her. Apparently her drinking buddies tipped more than I did. Well, sorry, I have this big drain on my income I call a child, and he comes before you. You get a slice of pie, but you are not going to get fat. So, from then on, I tipped her EXACTLY 5%. If I had to get change for a nickle so I could give her $1.43, then I’d do it. (Oh, and I was usually closed after 3 tables back then.) She has a hair-trigger temper, but she’s not dumb, and she figured out what was happening, and she never complained again. We’re good friends now, and she’s on permanent maternity leave, because she can be. So, as our dear friend the Buddha says, “What goes around, comes around.” Good, and bad.
If the first person had not told you to tip her out would you have had the same reaction?
I’ve done the running job and had to keep a list and ask each waiter/waitress for a tipout or they would for the most part just leave..screwing me and building resentment making for a nice and bitter workplace.
Yes, I would have. Did you read how rudely she asked for the money? The management should have handled it but since they didn’t, she should have approached it differently. I understand keeping a list, but I think I clearly stated that there is no requirement for us to tip out food runners because we never have food runners. That night was a first night I have ever seen a food runner at the BC, and I only work the busiest (read: weekend) shifts. This is not an issue of not wanting to tip her out, but not wanting to tip her out for being so fucking rude about it.
You asked and it seems that if the response was not to your satisfaction you made it quite clear you we’re right. Why bother to ask? Your blog and your right to an opinion, just don’t ask if you don’t want dissenting opinions.
His opinion was not dissenting. Did you read my post? I was not bitching about not tipping out a busser. I agree that bussers should be tipped out. I was expressing my opinion about what he posted, since it wasn’t really about what I originally posted.
I think you should tip out the busser not matter what. I searched out this topic right after work because im pissed that i bussed everyones food today, made all their drinks and coffees, clear their tables, folded napkins and what not and over all that i had to do my own stuff. I was only tipped 20 bucks for a nights work on a 7 hour shift. Over 400 customers. I was so pissed but i didn’t say anything and left. Well next time I won’t be doing anytihng for the servers. Im just going to stand at my station and do my shit. I only make 10 bucks an hour. Sold about 400 dollars in coffee today and I dont make a single tip off coffees.
Only ten dollars an hour, you poor thing. Servers in most of the States make $2.13/hour and tips are the only income we see. I noticed that you have a Canada IP address, so servers in your area probably make the minimum wage there, which is $9.05/hour. In any case, is there a requirement that they tip you out? Any requirements on the amount they tip you out? If not, quit bitching. If there’s no guarantee, there’s no guarantee. It doesn’t make it RIGHT, but it makes you aware before you take on the job. It’s your choice to work there or not. I know busting your ass and seeing nothing for it feels like shit. Thing is, if that happens to me, I’m being paid less than minimum wage. Again, I’m not saying it was right for them to screw you over.
What I was bitching about in this post was NOT tipping out bussers, but tipping out a food runner when we’ve never had a food runner, ever. When I was hired we didn’t tip out the bussers, but they made more than minimum wage. Three weeks after I was hired I had to sign something in which I acknowledged a change in tip outs. Bartenders AND bussers would now be tipped out a required percentage. I could have quit then if I didn’t find it acceptable, but I signed the paper and tip out my bussers and bartenders. Thing is, on that paper it NEVER mentioned food runners. Even so, I would have been okay with it had she not been such a snot. I still tipped her out despite her asshole behavior. Did you even read the post? Just wondering, since your comment makes me think you didn’t.
A little advice to you: standing around and doing nothing is going to make them want to tip you out less. If you bust your ass and see nothing for it, at least you can complain to management. If they see you working hard they should back you up. If you stand around doing nothing they won’t take your side. Think about it.