Yes, I Remember You

Remember my shitty Friday?  I very briefly mentioned the table that left me $2 on $81.  Guess who showed up again?  Yep.

I wouldn’t have even recognized them except that the little girl exclaimed, “Hey, we had you last time!”

“Oh,” I said, “is that so?  I see a lot of people every day.  Do you remember where you sat?  It might help me remember!”

“Yep, right over there!”

I looked at the table and then back at the girl.  Then I saw her mom.  Yep, that’s the bitch that left me $2.  The husband wasn’t there this time; it looked like her sister and mom, plus the kiddos.

“Oh,” I said sweetly.  “I do remember you now!  That was quite a busy night, huh?”

The girl beamed.

I looked at her mom.  “I’ll take extra special care of you.”

I would never fuck with someone’s food, but making them think I would?  Priceless.


Filed under Stories

4 responses to “Yes, I Remember You

  1. OOOOOOOOOOOOH — what happened?????? Still a shitty tipper?

    I got $2.92 this time on $68. The percentage improved. I think they either don’t know how to tip or don’t want to know. I’m pretty sure they don’t want to know, or know but decide to fuck me over anyway. Fuckers. Next time they will get the service they deserve.

  2. mo

    People have a lot of nerve coming back to a restaurant after leaving a bad tip!!!!!! It IS a ton of fun to fuck around with them.

    The look on her face was awesome. “Oh God, we got her again. Shit.”

  3. Too bad you can’t hand out those 15% tip table cards as a suggestion. I’m sure management would be disturbed.

    They think it offends people. If they’re offended at the thought of tipping appropriately, maybe they should complain to the lawmakers to make change happen. People may not like the tipping system, but it’s not right to punish the people bound by that system (servers) by people who don’t understand or care why it sucks (legislators).

  4. cynthesyzer

    shitty tippers…par for the course as they say. The best was last summer when a nice gentleman said that he felt that i had done an excellent job and deserved a big tip, but that he would give it to me in cash so as to not let the management get any of it. I told him honestly that it just doesn’t matter because the tip out is automatically added to my cash out regardless of how much anyone tips me. He seemed genuinely shocked that was so……and then his bitch-ass sister-in-law sitting beside him interjected and started ranting to me about how she ‘doesn’t understand this tipping business’. At first i was just confused about what point she was trying to make, so i pretty much just asked her what she meant. Well that was a huge error in judgement on my part.
    She proceeded to spew venom and hatred at me that if servers should be tipped then the restaurant itself should be the one to tip me, not customers. hmmmm, is that so.
    So i told her thats not what service is about, and revenue canada certainly agrees with me. I asked her if she was aware of the fact that my minimum wage is lower than the ‘actual’ legal minimum wage because the govt assumes that we make gratuities on top of our hourly wage? and the fact that nobody works an 8 hour day in the restaurant biz? (unless you are doing shitty ass split shifts of course, which amounts to at least a 12 hour day with 4 unpaid hours). Wow…. then she just took it to a whole ‘nother level and screamed at me that SHE works in a retirement home GIFT SHOP and THEY DON’T TIP SO WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BE GETTING TIPPED WHEN SHE DOESN’T!!!!! Uuuuuuhhhh yeah. That would be because you work in a gift shop, as you just told me. She said she knew waitresses in the dining room and THEY don’t get tipped. Ummmmm yeah wouldn’t that be because they DON’T ACTUALLY GET A BILL AFTER THEY EAT? And they pay like 5 to 7 grand a month to live in the fucking place? And it’s all inclusive as per contract?
    At that point I saw that her head was about to start spinning 360′s so I wrapped it up quick and got the fuck out of there. Thank god they were the last table on the patio and i had no reason to show my face back out there again.
    Anyway, the poor guy. When they left he snuck back in and found me and apologized, told me she needed to have her meds adjusted and not to take it personally. Oh not to worry, i didn’t. i figured out she was a batshit crazy bitch about 30 seconds after she opened her ugly mouth.

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