Here’s a tip: You can’t have something for nothing.
A restaurant is in the business of making money. So, when they run a promotion, the idea isn’t to give you a a good deal. The idea is to give you a deal that will draw you in and make you spend MORE money. That’s the point of the whole business, to take your money! So why the fuck would you think that a restaurant would lose money on your meal?
If I remember correctly, it was the day after Thanksgiving. Red Lobster sent out coupons via email and Facebook for a one-day promotion. Buy one Maine Stay menu item, get the other FREE. Maine Stay items are new menu items and range from about 9-16 bucks. A buy-one get-one deal was a GREAT deal for guests. That’s why it was one day only, I’m sure you can already guess. Too long a run and they would lose money, yes? But with a one day run maybe you can squeeze enough money via drinks and appetizers to make it worthwhile.
My first guest of the day came in with her husband. He never spoke, but she was very talkative. Asked lots of questions.
“Which ones are for the coupon?”
“The ones with a blue and white star next to them.”
“Oh. Well, what is there?”
“There is a very tasty salad, a blue cheese steak, new shrimp and chicken dishes, and my favorite is the Sweet Chile Shrimp appetizer. Lots to choose from!”
“Which one is best?”
“Well, if you want quantity go with the parmesan chicken pasta. If you want flavorful, I eat the Sweet Chile Shrimp as a meal. Or you could try the bacon-wrapped shrimp!”
“Well, let me look.”
I left her for TWENTY MINUTES. In that time, I checked with her 4 times (roughly every five minutes) and she just smiled and said to come back in another five minutes.
The last time I came by, her brow was furrowed and she looked none too pleased. Well, fucking great.
“Oh dear, is something wrong?” I asked.
“None of your Maine Stays have lobster! Where is the lobster?”
Oh, yes, we would love to give you a free lobster dish after you buy a chicken dish. Sure!
“Oh. Um. None of the Maine Stays offer lobster. I can add one a la carte if –”
She huffed, “Well, what’s the point, then? What’s the point of a coupon if I can’t have lobster?”
I certainly wouldn’t know.
Now, I’ll just go out there and say that coupon was a FANTASTIC deal. And she’s complaining that it doesn’t include something with lobster? Go fuck yourself.