Here’s a tip: We don’t have “vegetables.”
We do have vegetables, though.
Does the menu say anything about us serving vegetables? No, it does not. It says we serve potatoes, broccoli, green beans, or a vegetable medley with your meal. Don’t tell me that you want “the vegetables,” you fucking asshole. PICK ONE. When you say “vegetables” I think “vegetable medley.” Then it gets to the table and you complain that you wanted broccoli. Then say you want fucking broccoli, you dickwad!
I can’t tell you how often this happened. In fact, I’m surprised I haven’t already posted about it. It pissed me off to no end.
“I’ll have the vegetables.”
“Okay, which kind?”
“What do you mean? VEGETABLES.”
“We have broccoli, green beans, and veg—”
“I don’t care, bring me vegetables. How hard is it to just get me vegetables??”
“Alright, vegetable medley it is.”
“Whoa, wait, what is that?”
“It’s a dish of roasted zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, and onions.”
“Oh, God, I don’t want that. I said VEGETABLES.”
I wanted to smack every single one of them. Actually, those ARE vegetables. If you want a vegetable you actually like, you should tell me which one you fucking want.
(And since I know some jackass is going to say it, yes a tomato is a fruit. Anything a plant produces that acts as flesh around its seed is a fruit. That means squash is also a fruit. Potatoes, however, are stem tissue, not a fruit. “Vegetable” is a culinary term while a fruit is both a botanical and culinary term. “Vegetable” does not group botanically similar structures together, while “fruit” might, depending on its use. So a tomato is botanically a fruit and, when cooking with it, a vegetable. My gift to you this Christmas is some biology knowledge; you’re welcome and Merry Christmas!)