Tuesday Tips (for Twits) #75

T4T is posting early, on Monday night, so I don’t forget about it tomorrow. Or maybe I just forgot to change the schedule date to post for tomorrow. You know, maybe. Ahem.

Here’s a tip: If you’re in a fucking hurry, don’t stop at Red Fucking Lobster.

On my next-to-last day, two ladies sat down in my section. They sat and talked for a good ten minutes, waving me away every time I attempted to take their order. When they were finally ready they barked their choices at me. As I closed my booklet the sourpuss on the left growled, “And we’re in a hurry. She has an appointment to make at 12:15 and we need to leave by noon.”

I remembered that the clock read 11:32 when I checked it right before taking their order. Motherfuckers, you have got to be kidding me. If you’re in a fucking hurry, order as soon as possible and don’t waste your time chatting while your food could be cooking.

“Of course. I’ll put a rush on it.”

“You’d better.”


Their food came out in 9 minutes, give or take, and they grumbled as I set the plates down.

“Well, finally. I was sure we wouldn’t have time to eat by the time it got here.”

I briefly considered effectively making that table my last table, but ultimately decided that there was plenty more money to be made that day and the next. It wasn’t worth bitching at these ladies and losing out on over $100.

I bit my tongue and said nothing rather than open my mouth and lose control.

I left the check on the table with the food to make the point that I knew they were in a hurry and they need not wait on me. Sure enough, though, they waited until the minute they needed to leave before paying. I know because I asked if the check was ready twice before I found the sourpuss standing with her hands on her hips next to the table with the check clutched tightly in her hands.

“Are you ready?”

“YES! I told you we were in a HURRY.”

Okay, that’s it. “Ma’am, I tried to take payment twice before noon but you said you weren’t ready.”

“Well, I’m ready NOW and you’ve kept me waiting!”

“I’ll get that paid out for you right now.”

I waited behind the two people waiting to use the nearest computer in plain view of the lady, instead of using the two free computers in the back… just to spite her, of course. How could she legitimately complain when she sees I’m waiting to use the computer and not doing anything else but trying to run her card?

Don’t be an idiot if you’re in a hurry, folks. I don’t give a shit about your appointments unless 1) you tip well and are super nice, or 2) don’t expect me to fix your poor time management skills.


Filed under Tuesday Tips

6 responses to “Tuesday Tips (for Twits) #75

  1. “A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine”- one of my favorite sayings.
    I work next to a theater, so we get a lot of ladies who get caught up in conversation and forget they need to order, put their credit cards down, etc. Then it’s my fault when they are late to their movie!
    Oh, and my favorite the other day: “We have to get to a movie in 45 minutes”
    “You’ll be fine if you don’t order the grilled meat dishes,” I say.
    “Ok. I’ll have the rack of lamb medium well” (a 30 minute dish)

    Jesus. Some people… >_<

    • DMT

      LOL that’s what my thesis supervisor said to me at our first meeting on Monday how spooky is it that exact some quote appears here and on the same day I see?

  2. But she was ready when she was ready, and she was waiting on you!
    Nine minutes was pretty good for the food prep.

    You have no idea. They were lucky we weren’t super busy.

  3. rawr

    I remember one table I had when working at Red Lobster. “We have a doctor’s appointment in 20 minutes!!!! I’m going to order the 4 course meal special.” That was the mom. The son said, “Can I have a burger well done please?”

    Ugh. Needless to say they were late to their appointment.

    I would imagine so. And I bet it was all your fault. o_0

  4. DMT

    I remember one night going out with small group of friends. The plan was simple we’d grab a bite to eat and then go catch a movie at the cinema next door. I’d arrive 15 minutes before everyone buy cinema tickets then we’d all meet at the restaurant an around an 80 minutes before the movie started. We were delayed because my friend and his girlfriend were nearly 40 minutes late. Fair play to the restaurant staff the place was packed, but they got us fed and paid up with 5 minutes to spare. But the whole time we were there my friends girlfriend was bitching and moaning about the service being slow and missing the start of the movie. I lost it and said “I know wasn’t it really inconsiderate for all these people to decide to go eat at the same time as you” It shut her up but didn’t go down too well my friend got an earful later on.

    Some people don’t know how to be reasonable human beings. Anytime we go somewhere with someone like that, I make damn sure they know it’s not acceptable behavior. Then they are NEVER invited out with us again. It’s already happened once with a grad student that works with my husband. He left a $1 tip and laughed about it. I had just come from a bad shift… so you can imagine how well that went over. Haven’t seen him since.

  5. Missy

    I always get people like this, in two varieties.

    First one is the people in a rush who ask me what will be quickest to come out. I tell them something from the fryer would be quickest (i.e. a schintzel or calamari) and without fail they order a well done steak and complain when it isn’t there soon enough.

    Secondly, my bar only serves food during certain hours (12-2 for lunch and 6-8 for dinner). People will come running in at 1;59 and ask if they can order. I tell them yes, as long as they order right away. They will normally have a rushed conversation, order something, then complain to the manager I rushed their decision. Sure I did, but if you’d waited five more minutes there wouldn’t be anyone in the kitchen (chefs leave at 2pm, unless they have an order already through). THEN, they come up ten minutes later wanting to add on a few more meals because their friends just showed up, which I can’t do (again, see NOBODY in the kitchen). Then they complain about that. Our meal hours are claerly listed on the website, or you could call and ask, but don’t get mad with us beacuse YOU showed up too late.

    Jesus fucking Christ, I hate people who are “in a hurry” but don’t act like it. Fuck them, man.

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