Sunday Night Fucking Sucked Too

I closed again last night. Seems like they’re going to make my Sunday nights closing nights from now on. Fucking brilliant.

Know what else?  Even though our current $10 coupon promotion is ending, our particular store is going to be handing out MORE $10 coupons because of the remodel that starts this week.  And guess what?  No limitations!  They can use that shit on Endless Shrimp.  Good-bye, income that feeds my family during the week.  If last night was any preview of how that’s going to go down, I’ll be making about minimum wage.  If I wanted to do that, I would go work at fucking Wal-Mart and deal with less stress and bullshit.

Here’s how last night went down: My first table tipped 5% after the coupon.  Lovely.  My second table left 10% after the coupon. Fucking great.

My third table didn’t have a coupon but fucking STIFFED ME.  They were fucking ignorant assholes.  Mexican, which isn’t necessarily bad, but these people had ‘tudes like you wouldn’t believe.  First they acted like they didn’t speak English, so I was trying my best to help them without resorting to using the little bit of Spanish I know.  Once I do that, they assume I am fluent and try to tell me their order in Spanish, which results in lots of problems seeing as I barely remember what I learned in Spanish besides restaurant-related words. I finally got their order without using Spanish and put in their appetizer order.  I came back and everyone had sucked down their drinks.  After that, every time I left the kitchen I had refills and pitchers for them.  And they needed them every single time.  Oh, and bread too.  At least we didn’t run out last night.

So after they were halfway done with their nachos I rang in their food.  I did some other things to delay their salads until they were almost done with the app, since most people feel rushed when they have a lot of app left and then get their salads.  When I dropped off the salads I heard the younger lady say, “Donde blah blah comida, eh?” to the older lady.  That’s about all I caught as they rapid-fired Spanish to each other while I refilled their waters.  Where is your food?  Is that what you’re saying?  It’s on the fucking grill, where it should be.  Eat your fucking salads.

I come by to remove their salad bowls and refill drinks, and the older one turns to me and in English says, “Can I ask you a question?”

I was a little taken aback since they had previously acted like they didn’t speak English, only pointing to items and saying, “This,” and looking confused when I asked questions about sides and salads.  I remember repeating the sides three times and the ladies conferring in Spanish, saying some of the sides in Spanish.  I still think maybe the guy didn’t speak English, but both ladies were definitely fluent.

After I got over the initial shock I said, “Of course.  What’s your question?”

“All the tables around us,” she gestured in a circle, “have gotten their food. We were here first, but they were served first!  Where is our food?”

Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, don’t play the “they were here after us” game.  Some food cooks faster.  Some people order faster.  Some people have FUCKING APPETIZERS SO OF COURSE YOUR FOOD WILL COME OUT LATER.

“Ah….well, ma’am, you ordered an appetizer.  I had to wait to ring in your food until you got your appetizer, otherwise all the food would have come out together.”  She snorted and rolled her eyes.  Right on cue, my closing buddy appeared at the table with their food.  I smiled and said, “In any case, your food is here now. Please enjoy.”

Fucking bitch.  Where is your food….it’s in the fucking kitchen where it’s supposed to be, cooking until it’s consumable!  Not only did it take you 15 minutes to fucking order because you wouldn’t speak English, but you had a fucking appetizer!  You always had bread, your salads came before your app was finished, and your food came just as you finished your salads.  That is textbook perfect in terms of food timing.  That’s how fucking good I am.  Don’t bitch to me about waiting longer than people around you.  Their food has nothing to do with yours.

So they ended up shoving their plates into to-go boxes and then high-tailed it up to the front to pay.  Imagine their fury when they found out that the check was still on the table where I left it, and they would have to pay out with me.  I guess they thought they could scurry away like the bitchy asses they are and not have to look at me again, making it easier to stiff me.  Nope!  But they did stiff me.  Didn’t even leave the change to round up to the next dollar – they paid to the penny.  Fuck them. On a $89 tab.

My next table left between 5-10% after the coupon.  After the old man asked that I cut up onions and tomatoes and put them on his Caesar salad. Which I hate doing, but won’t complain about when it’s old people.  And I gave them extra bread to take home.  Fuck them too.

My next table was pretty cool; the lady works at the university my husband goes to, and she gave me the name of a guy who is hiring right now.  Plus they tipped well, and no coupon.  Score!

The table next to them?  $15 on $108.  Better than I expected.  The table after that?  Fucking $2 on $40, after the coupon.

And my last table of the night?  The one who was so nice to me, and the one that I went out of my way for?  The one who was there past closing time?  The one that I gave extra bread to-go, the one that had the little girl that I was so sweet to? $3.14 on $72.  I wished bad things upon them, and I didn’t even care.  Okay, maybe I cared a little.  I wished bad things upon the parents, but nothing bad upon the kid.  And nothing so bad upon the parents that it would leave the kid an orphan or anything.  I have a little bit of a heart, you know.  But yes, bad things.  Maybe a flat tire or someone keying their car.  Maybe four flat tires and a hit-and-run while the car is parked on the street with no one inside.

Part of me thinks my tips were directly related to the fact that, despite having gotten a shipment of everything on Saturday, we ran out of crab (Snow and King), lobster tails, Walt’s shrimp, cucumbers and tomatoes for salads, salmon…the list goes on.  It was a fucking nightmare again except we weren’t near as busy as Friday, which helped a bit.  But it seemed like people thought I personally fucked them over. Maybe I ate all the food, or maybe I purposely sabotaged things just to make my job harder.  I don’t know what they thought, but they seemed to take it out on me.  Then again, maybe it was just Rude and Cheap Sunday.

So I came home with a whopping $41 after working 6 hours.  That’s not even minimum wage.  Today has got to be better.  If it’s not, I may come home and cry.

8 Comments

Filed under Bitching, Stories

8 responses to “Sunday Night Fucking Sucked Too

  1. mary

    that really sucks. i feel for you

  2. yellowcat

    People are fucking cheap on Sundays. I can work a 4 hour shift & make $60 during the week, but on Sundays I’m lucky to make $40 in 8 hours.

    Sundays don’t normally go so poorly for me; it’s about average. This Sunday was just shittier than normal, mostly due to that goddamn coupon. Our remodel starts tonight, so more $10 coupons will be in circulation….

  3. Oh, I’ve been much nicer to my waiters after reading all of your blogs. (and tip more, sorry it took so long)

    I’m glad to hear that. Most people just don’t know how demeaning the job is when people decide you’re subhuman. Thanks for reading and for considering my words enough to change! :)

  4. Erin

    I read this blog regularly and don’t comment, but I feel so bad for you with that $89 tab. I would have cried.

    I hope your blog and the other serving blogs out there help change people’s attitude toward servers. Be courteous, show some respect, and like magic the whole evening is better for everyone! And no verbal tipping- if it’s not 20%, it’s not doing your server any favors.

    Thank you; I hope so too. Verbal tips don’t pay our bills, and neither do church pamphlets!

  5. lobsterbotess

    Oh My Gawd!!10 dollar coupon…on endless shrimp..All Sunday night my customers were holding up their cell phones with their 10 dollar facebook coupons waiting on a managers approval…to use on the 4 course feast while sipping their lemon-water cocktails…corporate is trying to kill us all.

    Indeed, that is EXACTLY what Friday and sunday Night were like. And I hate that they have it on their cell phones because there’s no record of the coupon existing when you do your check-out, but management insists we take them. OH, OH! And our management says that coupons NEVER expire, so we still have to accept them even when they’re expired. Why?? Oh, right; to avoid offending someone too stupid to read their goddamn coupon.

  6. That truly sucks a kumera!!! Hmmm.. I am itching to charge up my power tools as chase those morons down the street… I don’t know how you manage it but perhaps the respect you are given from the readers of your blog will provide some sort of comfort..?

  7. DirrrtyD

    I just asked MGMT last night if our store would be giving away $10 coupons during the remodel (which has been pushed back 2 months now and won’t start until August). They said none of the other remodeled stores in our division had given any out during their transition so I’m hoping we’re safe, too. No way in HELL I’ll be able to survive Endless Shrimp with a $10 coupon and still make $$$.

    Agreed. I feel despair settling in.

  8. Beth

    Not that I have one of those coupons, and not that we go out to eat often, but if I did, and used the coupon on endless shrimp, but was polite and tipped well, would that be okay? (Say 25% of the original check then $2 for each refill of any kind)

    Oh god, you don’t need to tip on top of the bill for the shrimp refills as long as you haven’t stayed at my booth longer than an hour. What you described would be most kind of you, I assure you. Thank you for caring. :)

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